Thursday, November 29, 2012

The girl...

I know I want to write tonight, but I'm just not sure what to write.  I could write about my day, but I don't think that's for public consumption - too many emotions, too little internet.  I could write about a little story that's riding around in my head, but I need to be in a bit more fun mood for that.

Maybe I'll tell you a story.  

A long time ago, there was a girl.  This girl knew the world revolved around her.  Her feelings and emotions, trials and tribulations were the most important things ever.  No one else mattered, at least not as much as the girl, except to how they fit into the girls life.  Her friends she loved dearly, her family she tolerated.  She fought the constraints of youth and battled to be an adult.

This girl grew up, and worked, and played, and went to school.  She was going to be a radio star, or at least on the air, for at least one or more people to listen to.  She was going to go out and DO things, not just be chained to a house, a husband a kid.  She would work with charities and help less fortunate people.  She would somehow make some money too.  Maybe have a cool apartment in the city, where she wouldn't need a car, only a bike and her Jesus Wheels.

Then, this girl met a boy and they liked each other.  So much so that they ended up getting married.  The girls was able to edit her dreams to add the boy to them.  They would DO things, things that were fun, things that mattered.  They would know politics, and be able to speak to subjects in a wise and experienced manner.  Soon, the girl graduated from college.

Much to the girls exhaustion, she decided to try to sort out her life from her dreams and also to quit her job.  She was so tired of schlepping coffee to a**holes, with little to no reward.  Plus, what a better way to force yourself into action on your dream.

Before a new job came into the action plan, two little pink lines on a pee stick showed the girl that her life was destined to take a different course.  The girl put her dreams on hold, to embrace another kind of dream, and another human being.

Now, the girl has the house, the kids, the husband, but not the dream.  The girl sees two other girls that know the world revolves around them.  The girl knows that she is only a bit player in their worlds, although, probably has the biggest part in their lives now, than she ever will again.  The girl wonders at how easy, yet somewhat devastating it is to put your life, your hopes and dreams on hold to pursue other dreams.  As the girl has many days, where her feelings are no longer as important as they once were, where her trials and tribulations are written instead of spoken, where the world revolves around others, yet she is the one that helps to keep that world spinning, she wonders when her dreams will be acted upon.  When will it be ok to DO things, fun things, important things, things that others just talk about?  Will she get her time?  Or will her life fizzle out, fulfilled in one way, missing in others?  Or will some new dream come and satisfy in a way that the old dream doesn't seem to have been missed?  The girl wonders, what will tomorrow hold?

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