Because I can...

Staying at home has been more stressful than anticipated.  Not that my kids are too crazy (although, they are a bit nuts), or that I've set myself up to do too much (I have been doing a lot), but it's the food that stresses me out.  Seriously.  

I love food.  Food is my favorite.  But, it makes my jeans tighter.  It makes my muffin top fluffier.  It comforts me and stresses me out all in one.  It makes me question my willpower.  It makes me question my determination.  It makes me give up on myself.

I have a good routine when I am working.  I have a good routine when I am on vacation.  But, put me at home for a week, with holidays built around eating, and I lose it.  I lose my drive to exercise.  I'm tired.  I overeat.  I can't relax.  I beat myself up for all of my choices.

I want to sit, and binge watch NCIS.  And also to not feel bad about that decision.

I want to eat only when I'm hungry.  I want to make good choices about the food that is in my mouth. But, one bad decision can send me on a spiral of bad decisions.

I have tools to help me with these decisions, good and bad.  I am able to stop and track my food.  I can exercise while watching NCIS (thank you Netflix and a treadmill).  I can move the food to the bottom shelves of the fridge, so I don't eat them first.  I can distract myself from eating by losing myself in other tasks.  I can write about what is actually stressing me out.

The holidays stress me out.  Family.  Shopping.  Cooking.  Working. Activities.  Animals.  Projects.  All that have a non-moveable deadline.

And, the weather has changed.  I'm inside more.  It's cold outside.  It's raining or snowing or cloudy or foggy.  The sun is out when it's even colder.  I gain weight every year between January and April.  For some reason, these are the worst months for me.  

I have a tool.  I am aware.  I can work on this.  I can make better decisions.  I can stop feeling victimized by food and stress.  I can make the decision to not feel bad about the decisions I make.  I can sit and enjoy some binge watching and eat a salad or an apple.  I can run or walk on the treadmill, or use one of the many exercise videos I have.  I can take the dog for a walk - even when it's cold because being outdoors everyday will make me happy.

Today is a new day.  I will feel better about myself today.  I will move the leftovers from Thanksgiving to the dark bottom shelf of the fridge.  I will move the ice cream to the back bottom of the freezer.  I will throw away the store bought cookies.  I will write down a plan for food today and stick to it.  And I will distract myself with cleaning and re-organizing kitchen cabinets.  I will find a way to exercise today.  And I will go outside in the cold and rain and walk the dog.

Because I am strong.  Because I make the decisions that can adjust my destiny.  Because I can.

Summer of fun, sun, bacon and gnomes...

Oh my gosh!  Apparently, I went out, worked hard to get my blog designed, got the new design up, and promptly forgot to write anything.  Awesome!

So - how have you been?  I haven't been writing in these parts for so many reasons, one of which is supreme extreme business.  Not just extreme, but supreme extreme.

This has been such a crazy summer.  The weather has been bi-polar (pretty much business as usual in the Upper Midwest).  We've had some birthdays, visitors, so much going on.  Let's see if I can get some of it out.  And, of course, there are pictures.  I mean, it wouldn't be a blog of mine without pictures, right?

One of the biggest things that has happened to us this year is that we finally got a dog.  Oh my, how we have been wanting a dog.  First we had to get a fence, and then a dog door for when we were away.  With the help of a friend, we found our Joe-Joe.  He is a super-sweet and loving dog.  Sometimes, you forget that when you add to your family, it's not just an adjustment for the newest member of the family, but for the entire family.  We've spent the past 8 months or so getting used to each other and our quirks.  Joe-Joe has some problems with separation anxiety.  He pees in our house when we leave him alone.  We are still working on the best way to deal with this problem.  We've tried a few different solutions for this, but none have worked.  Our next move is to hire a dog walker for the days we are not at home, and crate him for those days.  I'm not real fond of the idea of crating the dog for long periods of time, but I'm also not fond of pee in my house.

Joe-Joe can show some other behaviors that we have learned to deal with - namely jumping on the table when no one is around and getting into the garbage.  These are a bit easier dealt with by making the table top and garbage much less accessible to him.  All in all though, he's a sweet friendly dog and he is really a part of our family.

Speaking of family, we had to put down my cat in late June.  This is the first time I've ever had to be there with a pet as they died.  My heart still breaks when I think back to leaving him there.  That was one of the most emotionally wrenching times of my life.  I miss my Mackles all the time, and hope that wherever his spirit is, he's with a family that loves him as much or more than we did.

Ok, I have to move on from that.  In July, I turned 35.  Good God, only 5 years until 40.

We've been pretty active this summer; walking trails, riding bikes, running.  We also made it a point to sign the girls up for tons of activities through our park district.  We've done swimming lessons, Little Chefs, Super Sports, Baseball, Floor Hockey, etc.  Thankfully, with all of this, we were able to luck into finding cheaper child care, with more activities.  Whoot!!!

Lots of family came to visit us this summer.  My dad and step mom and their dog came and stayed with us for a week.  It was really their first time to Chicago, and we had a good time showing them around.  The family really enjoyed having them come and stay.  They were so relaxed and just really seemed to enjoy being here and being with us.  We are looking forward to the next visit!

My little sis came to visit twice!  And the second time she joined us for our family vacation/last hurrah of the summer.  We took time off of work to do a small trip to Michigan (which was super fun even though we basically ate, and walked, and window shopped, and ate, and swam in the hotel pool and ate).  We didn't go for long, but also did some touristy things in Chicago such as a boat tour, and taking pictures at Jeweler's Row, or at State Street, or the Picasso in Daley Plaza.  I'm not going to bore you with all of those pictures, but there are definitely a few to see.

Sandwiches as big as your head, with a pound of bacon. B.A.C.O.N.

Olivia participated in the town-wide gnome hunt.  Like a scavenger hunt for gnomes.  She had a blast, as did we all searching for those crazy gnomes.

The place that we went has a Christmas Store that is as big as 6 football fields, and is open all year long!  So much fun to go to a Christmas store in a sundress!

 

We seriously had the most beautiful day!

While we waited for the locks to let us into the Lake from the River.

We also got to visit with a my aunt and uncle and cousins, cousins spouses, cousin kids, my other aunt and uncle and cousins and even an exchange student!  I've done our 16.5 mile bike route with the hubs, little sis and even with Olivia!  Almost every waking moment I've been trying to move more and be more active. Hmmmm... sounds like another reason I haven't been writing.  Now that the summer is over, this happened:

That's right.  My baby started pre-school.  *sniffle*

And mostly because this picture is too cute not to share, from having dinner with the aunts/uncles/cousins/exchange student/Geraldo etc.  Mia stole my aunts glasses.  She is the cutest little old lady/young hipster I've ever seen.

Finally, a post...

I haven't been posting much lately.  It seems like there was such a whirlwind of activity, with my Grandpa passing, heading quickly out of state and back again, getting sick, getting back to work, new interesting things at work, etc.  I've been working out, and surprisingly not cooking as much.  My other brother has joined my house too.  Life has been surprisingly busy, and I have not been in my head.  Which is a bit of a relief.  But, I have also not been writing which weighs on me.  As usual, when I try to push myself back into the swing of things, I start with pictures.  It's been some time since I've linked up for iPPP, so, let's do this!!!

This is my little grown up girl wearing her Valentine's Day loot - shirt, head band, purse.  Which she kept a Hello Kitty in.  Only the important things, am I right girls?

The pup lost his 'fro.  But still can rock a "Bat Dog!"

Got an awesome lunch date picture.  These girls are FUN!

But, they need some reminders on basic hygiene.  This is now framed and hanging in their bathroom.  They had a huge giggle-fest last night, but have most likely already forgotten all about this.

Got myself a Valentine's Date Night, Saturday the 16th.  Found out that the hubs had put in red lights on the Mustangs foot wells.  This is exactly what it looks like - no editing.

I made this marbled cheesecake.  One word. Yummmmmmmm.

The two of us together, also from date night.

Having fun snuggles....

Scary/funny face snuggles....

And back to sweet snuggles...

My sweet pup always looks sad.  It may just be a ploy for more dentasticks.  Or to trick the cats out of the basement.

Finally, we got to see what this year's dance costumes will be.  The yellow are long shorts.  So cute.

Have a happy Tuesday, All!

Linking up with Greta @ gfunkified for iPPP.

Some "day in the life" shiz....

Here is my first photo back at Instagram.  I can't imagine what I'm going to do when someday I have to move on.  I may have to go to Instagram Instarehab.  Anywho, Mia didn't think that her hair looked pretty up in a ponytail.  So, I took a picture and showed her.  Then, she decided that I was right, she is pretty.

 

We had an unexpected day together last Friday.  We got less than an inch of snow, and apparently couldn't hang.  This is what happens with two rather snow-less winters in Chicago - you lose the ability to deal.  So, after a two-hour round trip to get about 12 miles from my house, and back (one way commute is 36 miles), Mia and hung out at home.  I got some snugly time because I am a lucky mama.

 

A picture while stopped on our snowy drive last Friday.

 

A little later on, my blond snow angel had a blast running through the little bit of snow we had.

 

This is what happens when a 4 year old dresses herself.  Although, I have to say, she matched the skirt and the shirt perfectly to the stripes on the pants.  I loved the look and so did she.

 

You may or may not know, but I really love to cook.  I had found a site (www.punchfork.com) that was like a search engine for food bloggers or food websites.  I have been unhappy that punchfork has recently been acquired by Pinterest, mostly because I didn't use Pinterest for food.  Now, I have moved all my punchfork likes to a board on Pinterest.  You can find me here on Pinterest, if you are interested. This is a chocolate cake, with chocolate chips and chocolate butter cream.  Yummy!

 

This is what I do every weekend.  I plan the meals for my family, then put it in a note on my phone so that I always know what we will be eating and can create the necessary shopping lists as well.

 

Lastly, this is what greeted me when I opened my bedroom door.  Hello Kitty in her birthday suit.

Linking up with Gfunkified for iPPP today.