A little bit of this, a little bit of that....

I miss you guys.  

Seriously.

I MISS YOU.

I've been overwhelmed lately.  So.Much.To.Do.

It's spring time (obviously) and school is winding down and we've had swim lessons, soccer, dance, girl scouts, vacation planning, dentist appointments, doctor appointments, vet appointments, dog grooming, normal errands and we made it to the library.

Sporting the full spaniel 'fro on the way to get clipped.

The library is my Mecca.  When I walk into the library, hear the quiet, smell the books, I'm in my favorite place.  I love the library.  We've been trying to get there at least every 3 weeks so that we can turn in finished books and check out new ones. 

So yeah.  Not writing so much, but reading a whole lot.

What have we been doing?  Well, we found a graveyard.  An old poor farm graveyard.  Stones with no names, just numbers.

We've been working on the house.  The playroom is no longer.  It is now in transition to be an office.  We've run electricity to the ceiling and put in a light fixture as well as having sanded and filled all the holes.  The trim is off.  The primer is ready.  This summer ya'll.  It'll be finished this summer.

In conjunction, we've also been shopping/pricing new floors.  We have to replace the carpet in the office and really in the whole house.  We've talked about re-carpeting, putting in hardwood, or ceramic tile.  We're still getting estimates.  But, hopefully, this summer we'll have new carpeting.

My Home Depot Helpers

We've put up screen doors.  We've been in our house for 8+ years, and now have a screen door on the garage entrance and ordered a storm/screen door for the front entrance (today!).

We had Kindergarten Mother's Day Tea.  Mia and I got to spend some time together, just her and I.

We've been slowly de-cluttering the house and stocking up Goodwill.

Mia is playing soccer, her first season.  I think she likes it.

Mia is Orange #6

We've been hanging out, bike riding, eating ice cream, enjoying the weather when we can.

I hope you are having a good spring too!

My life...

I'm sitting on my couch, looking around at my living room this morning.  I see the laundry piles waiting to get cleaned while the spinning sounds of my washing machine are drowning out the Foo Fighters on my iPod.  I see a coffee table filled with crayons, markers, two journals, two mini coloring books, a partially colored coloring sheet.  There is a coaster sprawled in that mess, along with paperwork from a doctor's visit detailing out surgery directives.  There is a tin holding more coloring implements, a plastic sandwich bag, open with random markers of different shapes and sizes.  One of the coloring books is open to a picture of a pony, with multi-colored hair and a forgotten crayon laying on top.  

On my couch, where the pillows are all askew, there lays a dog purse, upside down with legs in the air, waiting for a little girl to get home and put it on her shoulder, and walk around like a big girl.  This purse is next to a throw blanket, balled up in the corner of the couch, waiting for someone else to sit, and cover themselves, warming up from the frozen winter outside while watching a little TV, or reading a book.

The doors to my entertainment center are open, at least one door is, proudly displaying the disarray of video game systems and game controllers, blu-ray player and cable box.  Some dvd's lay sadly, waiting for some organized person to pick them up and find the box they belong in and put them away so that they stop gathering dust.  I look into the shelves and see the Guitar Hero guitar and wonder how long until we have to give that away too.  And really - what are all those cords and wires really for?

Looking at my floor, there are two socks, not matching, but clearly worn and discarded by some child that can't seem to figure out that the living room is not her dirty sock receptacle.  Then, some little pink bits catch my eye.  What is that?  Play doh bits, dried up on my carpet.  Right next to the gum that some six year old dropped onto the carpet and now is a permanent fixture.  On the stairs, more laundry that needs to get sorted to it's special load so it can get washed.  A dog bed, that needs to be cleaned again, even though we just washed it a week ago.  And that crazy dog keeps trying to get me to let him out, just so he can go bark at the neighbors dogs behind the fence.

I reach for my coffee, look out the window, enjoying the sunlight and quiet before I have to get up and go again.  

Reworking my goals...

I have had a long time to mull this over, to try different things, like well over a year, I'm talking.  More than enough time for some things to get through the thickness that is my skull.

I set myself a goal recently.  My goal is to lose 1 lb a week, until I reach my goal.  AND.  I am determined to reach that goal this year.  For the past 2 years or so, I've been maintaining - gaining a little, losing some, gaining it back, losing it, etc.

This has been going on for about 2 years.  You can imagine that the non-movement of the (literal) needle on my scale is... frustrating... to say the least.

I have tried different things (eat more, eat less, less carbs, more veggies, more exercise, less exercise, some treats, no treats, blah, blah, blah).  These changes have all gotten me to a place that I can maintain.  A place that I stress so much less over my weight loss and the scale.  And, I am not looking to change that, to start stressing again.

What occurred to me, recently, was that I focus so much on the exercise, on being more active, because that was easy for me.  I've always been athletic, and I know that practice and diligence and hard work and a little push and determination will go far when it comes to physical activity.

Now, I need to apply that same diligence, hard work, practice, determination and little pushes to my eating habits.

I give myself too many passes on my eating.  I am an emotional, stress, binge, mindless over-eater.  I know what I am doing when I over-eat, when I binge, and I still let it happen.

I'm not thinking that I can just stop it.  Or somehow exert control over this.  If I could control these habits and behaviors, I would never have gotten to over 250 lbs.  First, I want to identify the things that I let get out of control.  Then, I want to learn how to take myself away from the temptation and refocus my mind on something else; distract the craving.

Some of the habits I can already identify are:

1. Eating off my kids plates.  I always think bites don't count.  They do count.  And I don't need their food anyway.

2. Binging at home.  The return of the bottomless pit.  I need to find a way to distract from this, to get out of the situation.

3. Eating while reading or watching TV.  The problem with this habit is that it would be really nice to distract myself with books or TV (without eating at the same time).

I'm sure more habits will be identified, but I think I have a good start.

C'mon eating habits - we're going to get in shape!