Thank you...

Linking up with Shell today from Things I can't Say for her Pour Your Heart Out Meme.  I'm a first timer at this link.

My family

When I was a youngster, ok, when I was a kid, my parents got divorced.  If memory serves, this was the summer I turned six.  My mom, moved my brother and I from Kansas to the suburbs of Chicago because that's where my grandparents were.  My mom, at the ripe age of 28, with 2 kids moved back in with her parents.

Jenny and Tracey



Heather and I



I don't remember a whole lot about the divorce, or life prior to the divorce.  I do remember life in Illinois, though.  My good friends Jenny, Tracey and Heather, riding bikes - jumping on an already moving bike with it's awesome banana seat.  Roller skating with my cabbage patch skates.  That time I threw up after getting off the bus from school, while walking to the baby sitters house.  That time I knocked the wind out of myself jumping down all the basement stairs at said sitter.  Life was fun.

I also have lots of memories from visiting Kansas.  I took my first plane ride home from Kansas to Chicago. Prior to the plane, my mom would meet my dad in Des Moines where the transfer of children would happen.  Because we were in different states, we only got to visit my dad during the summer.  We would go for about six weeks at a time. 



Erin and I circa 1980



Erin and I

Most of my early memories center around Rita and John's house in Kansas.  You see, my cousin Erin and I are six days apart in age.  When we came to visit my dad, we stayed with Rita and John and Erin and I bunked up. 



Me, Casey, Erin, Justin, Derrick



I was thinking about this situation the other day and can't believe how much Rita and John gave to my brother and I when they took us in for the summers.  Rita and John have three kids of their own, and were working to pay the bills just like anyone else.  I remember the house on Piankishaw and when Erin stubbed her toe on the big grate in the floor and eventually her toe nail came off.  I remember a crazy cat named Rocky that would run around like a crazy person.  I remember going to the library or Rex-all Pharmacy on the square.  I remember being down the street from Stephanie one way, and great grandma Phillips the other way.





Me, Grandpa Trumbly, Erin



Me, Great Grandma Phillips, Erin

I also remember the house on Chippewa too.  I got swimming lessons in Kansas, me and Erin.  We would walk to the pool, or walk up to Heather's house or Amy's house.  We would jump on the trampoline, or watch R rated movies at Heather's.  I remember as we got older we would cruise the square.

Really - who wouldn't want to hang with me?

The reason that I am writing about all of these memories is because I wanted to thank Rita, John and Erin.  First of all, Erin.  I can't imagine how annoying it was to have me invade her house and her room.  To take up time in the bathroom.  To have to drag me around to her friends houses and include me in her summer activities.  To Erin, I say thank you.  I had so much fun with you during the summers.  Kansas would not have been fun without you.  Thank you for putting up with me and my awkwardness.  I appreciate all you did to make me feel welcome when we came to visit.



Me and Erin, mid to late teens



Erin and I, pre-teen



To Rita and John - Thank you too.  I had the opportunity to take care of Tony's nephew during two day stretches a couple of summers back and wanted to mame him most of the time.  You two took Derrick and I into your house and took care of us.  You treated us like your own children and we love you for that.  I'm sure that it wasn't your choice to have two extra kids to take care of, but we always felt welcomed and loved.  You are two wonderful people and I wanted to say thank you for all that you have done for us over the years.  You were a second mom and dad to me.  I love you both.  Thank you.





Two seventeen year olds on a bus...

My little sister came to visit a few weeks ago.  In true family fashion, she called at 10 PM on a Saturday, and didn't leave a voice mail.  Since I wasn't about to haul my ass out of bed at 10, except it was Cari, and what if something happened, and she didn't have my home number, and couldn't get ahold of any one else, and... oh well, I'm getting up to get the phone now.

No voice mail, so I text, "everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm coming to visit on Sunday."

"You mean, like, tomorrow?  Where you staying?"

"Welll....  that's what I want to talk to you about."

Oh my.  It turned out, she came in on Monday.  In the city, on a bus, that she rode all night from Mississippi, with her friend.

So - I took the day off work, and the girls and I took an early train.

They had donuts for breakfast, I had coffee.  We sat on this bench and waited for our train.  Yes, we did have conversation's with the homeless guy and gave him a dollar.

 On the train.

 After walking from Union Station to the Greyhound Station, then, walking back to Union to find Cari and Kaitlyn, we met up.  Here are Kaitlyn, Olivia, Mia and Cari chillin' in the non-air conditioned Union Station in sweats.

 Welcome to the city, girls.

End of summer carnival - without carneys....

Olivia's daycare (aka "Summer Camp") does an end of summer carnival every year.  They have jumpy castles, karaoke, karate demonstrations, food, face painting, raffles, you get the picture. These are the pictures from the carnival.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just, slide down?"

 Oh, I get it.  See, Mia?

 "What are YOU lookin' at?"

 She's not scared of riding THIS bike.

 Who's a crabby patty?  Whooooo's the crabby patty? In my head, I'm definitely saying this in my best baby talk.

Another picture to love.

Potty-Training sucks...

I have started working from home two days a week.  I LOVE this.  It means that I get to spend less time commuting and more time with my kids.

AWESOME!

But.... well..... My little one is potty-training.

I. HATE. POTTY-TRAINING.

I can't say it enough - it sucks (or, dribbles, or stinks, or is a surprise wet spot under foot which is NEVER a good surprise)!

After her fifth or sixth wet surprise this morning (I'd lost count), I was so mad, I told her to go into the bathroom and take off the pants herself.  She did, and when I followed her in to turn on the light that she can't reach, I took the opportunity to point out to her that she could take her own pants off.  She could walk into that bathroom, take her "wunder-wear" off and sit down and pee-pee and poo-poop all she wants - by herself.

She looked up at me, with the cutest grin, laughed and told me I was funny.

*Insert exasperated sigh here.*

At least I can entertain a two-year-old.

The Box of Shame...

We received a package in the mail.  As anyone with kids knows, it's not the present inside that's fun, but the box.

My oldest calls me over - "Mommy!  Mommy!  Come see!"

This is what I see, my youngest folded herself and her blanket into the box.  Oh, and my sweet oldest daughter had lovingly written on the box...

"Box of Shame"

 And speaking of shame - here's my little brother after his girlfriend had lovingly demonstrated why he needed a haircut.

My lottery addiction....

Remember the movie Dumb and Dumber?  Here's a quoted scene:

Lloyd: Mary, I wanna ask you a question and give me the straight up honest answer. What are the chances that I guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?



Mary: Well that’s difficult to say.


Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight. I came a long way just to see you Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?


Mary: Not good.


Lloyd: You mean not good, like one out of a hundred?


Mary: I’d say, more like one out of a million.


Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

This is how I feel about the lottery.  I'm Lloyd and the lottery ticket is Mary. 
 
You see, they started this new scratch off ticket - win $500 a week for the rest of your life.  You may think, that's dumb, that's only like $26,000 a year before taxes.  But - this would cover my child care leaving an extra $2000 a month to take care of things like my carpet, a deck/patio, finishing my basement, or truly boring, paying off my mortgage like 15 years early.
 
So, I started playing.  I mean, the ticket is only $1 and I limit myself to buying them once a week at the grocery store. 
 
But...  Well....  The tickets call to me.  For instance, I had $6 in cash last night when we went to the end of summer carnival at Miss Liv's summer camp.  So - I bought $5 worth of raffle tickets and thought "Yes!  I have $1 left for the lottery!"  Oh yeah, that dollar had a destiny!
 
This morning I went to the store and sped through, getting the supplies for our "party" today.  I even forgot the drinks because I had a mission.  There is that brand new lotto scratcher machine, right at the end of the checkout aisle.  C'mon lady!  Scan those groceries faster!  Dude, stop taking so long with the bags!  If the chips are smooshed, the kids'll still eat them - move your ASS!
 
And then, there it is.  My dollar going into the machine.  I press the button and my heart flutters a little.  THERE is my scratcher.  Oh - I have a CHANCE!
 
I'm not going to wait 'til I get home.  No way!  I get the groceries in the car and sit down in the drivers seat, scanning the lot like a drug addict looking for a fix.  I get a penny from the dash and ask it to be lucky.  C'm on penny - let's do this.
 
I scratch my number.  It's a 2!  It's lucky!  It's the number of wonderful children that I have!  (side note: I do this with every number I get.  If it's 14, I think double sevens, double the luck.  If it's 5, I'm like, there's a 5 in my phone number - it's lucky!)
 
I scratch the next number....7.  Nope.  Next.  14.  Nope.  Next. 12.  Nope.  Next. 3.  Nope. Last one.  C'mon.  5.  I lose.  Crap.
 
Now, I'm disappointed.  But thankfully, there's no one around.  So, I turn the radio up (Pink - Pretty, pretty, please), screech along in my best singing voice with the windows open, and look forward to next week's grocery trip and another CHANCE!

Biking or screaming?

Who says you can't do both?  Ok, so my oldest turned 7 a few months ago.  She is "working" on riding a two-wheeler.

We went outside, and I helped her by holding the seat and telling her when to lean to correct her balance.  We would roll to the next door driveway, and back to the other next door driveway.  The first time, she gets on after much "convincing" from me.

As we start moving, she starts to scream at the top of her lungs!  People are staring.

Was she falling? No.

Did I let go of her? No.

Did I hold her up the entire time? Yes.

Did that stop her from screaming? No.

By the time we went back a forth about 5 times, she was almost riding on her own.

Remind me not to take her on her first roller coaster.

Here she is examining the tortrure machine.

 Hmmm.... I put my feet where?  Are you sure that's how it works?

 I think this one was enjoying the distraction so that Mommy wouldn't notice that she was eating the chalk, not drawing with it.  She doesn't look like she's plotting anything, does she?

Nuggets of Mom Wisdom...

Nuggets of Mom Wisdom are the random, off-the-wall things that come out of our mouths that we pass on to our mini's.  Feel free to add your nuggets of mom wisdom.

Here are a few from this summer to my youngest mini.

1. My little Miss Mia was with the rest of the family at a family party when I caught her turning the volume down on the stereo.  Being the brilliant lady that I am, I admonished her, "We don't turn Def Leppard down, we turn them up."
2. As we were driving to a military concert/bbq benefit, I pointed out the brilliance of the hubby's plan to drive slower just because there were cops out.  I mean, there are always cops in this area - 'cause there's state police unit.  Miss Mia, hearing us talking about cops, begins questioning, "Cops?  Cops?'  We thought that was so amusing, that I said, "Yeah, cops. Do you see any? Watch out for cops because they are always after us.  Keep your eyes out for any cops - if you see any, tell mommy."  My loving little mini says "Ok, mommy."
3. After a long day at home with mommy, where the little miss pee fountain - aka Mia, could not keep her pants dry, I decided to give up, and take her outside with the big sister.  I was so tired of dealing, that I didn't think about what she was wearing.  First, her hair had been put in a ponytail that morning.  As you know if you have daughters, hair falls out of ponytails, and mommy didn't fix it.  Next, she had cheeto stains on her chin, around her mouth and streaks from cheeto drool down her shirt.  How about her pants, you ask?  Oh, that's right, she wasn't wearing any.  Just the pull ups.  And no shoes.  And she was running alongside her sister as her sister rode her bike.  I took a second look at her, as she was running, and told her she was a hot mess - a toddler hot mess.  Oh, and yeah, the put togther neighbors with their perfect dog and perfectly dressed kid in a stroller walked by as I told my 2-year-old she was a hot mess.
4. As you may know, we are potty-training in my house.  After my 800th time rolling toilet paper back onto the roll due to my daughter's obsession with the awesome (not too soft, not too hard) toilet paper, I told my daughter that she had a toilet paper addiction and that I was going to send her to toilet paper rehab.  It may have worked.  She hasn't unrolled toilet paper in a while.  Well, it was either the rehab threat or the yelling, swearing and barbie be-heading.  Who knows?

As you can tell, I'm also giving her fashion tips.

Let me know some of the awesome things you have passed on to your kids.

The horror movie villain and the model...

I went to pick up the Miss Liv from Summer Camp, and she showed me the craft she was working on that day.  It was a mask, that she drew on.

Hmmmm...

I asked the teacher (this was not the first comment that popped in my head, the first was something about serial killers in training) "Are they training for Hockey?"

"Nope" she says "I think they look more like Jason from those movies."

"Jason?" I said.  "Nope - it's Michael Meyers."

 Then, Model Mia saw that the camera was out, climbed up on the step ladder, and posed for pictures.  I hope her sister doesn't go after her, in the night, after she says "I'l be right back" and creepy music plays.

BUI....

What is a BUI, you ask?  Well, my brother has shown us why Bicycling and Drinking do not mix (BUI = Bicycling Under the Influence).

Saturday morning, my brother calls.  I answer, like the sweet loving sister that I am "Why are you calling me at this hour?"  I mean, it wasn't even 7 am.

"Well, I think I broke my wrist."  Hmmm, my 21-year-old brother may have broken his wrist.  "How did you do that?" I ask.

"Well, I was REALLY drunk last night and rode my bike home.  I was going way too fast, went off the sidewalk, and then over the handle bars."

Is it wrong that I wanted to laugh at this point?  I wasn't the only one that wanted to laugh.  The ER nurse was sporting quite the amused smirk later that morning.

Anyway, this is what happens when you drink and bike.

His wrist wasn't broken, but he bruised his back, his shoulder, did this to his arm and cut up his ankles too.  Oh yeah, did I not mention that he was drunk biking in flip flops?

Princess hairdo's....

The other day, Miss Liv found some barretts that I had bought during one of my hair trinket binges that generally happens about 4 times a year.  So, of course, she decided that she would put them in her hair.  Because little sisters need to do what their big sisters do, Miss M needed to have them in her hair as well. 

Thank Goodness that I thought far enough ahead to buy two sets!

 Pay no attention to the mess behind the princess.

Where do they come up with these toys?

On our way home from Kansas, we had a surprise for the girls.  "Girls," we said.  "We have a surprise for you."

"Oooo Mommy!  What?  What's the surprise?  Are we going to Sonic?"

"No, we are not going to Sonic.  Hmmm, well, maybe we'll go to Sonic.  I mean, a strawberry limeade sounds awesome right now.  BUT, Sonic is not the surprise.  The surprise is.....  we are stopping in Des Moines and staying overnight in a hotel with a WATERPARK!!!  YAY!!"

Crickets.

"But, we're still going to Sonic, right?"

 Proudly wearing the glasses that came in their kids meal from Sonic.

After spending enough time in the pool, she had to visit the arcade.  She won enough tickets to get some purple vampire teeth.  Below, the entire ensemble. 



Transparently Shallow Tuesday...

I was in the shower today, fighting the urge to double wash myself (really, this is a story for another day) by noting how much I was in need of shaving - both armpits and legs. 

I got to thinking, why do I shave?

I mean, I was made to grow hair in certain places.  Why is it the social standard that I shave my legs and my armpits?

Who hasn't had a day that you wanted to wear a tanktop without worrying that a chinchilla has taken residence under your arm?  Or wearing shorts/capris without worrying that your child will pet your leg, mistaking it for the cat?

I was 10 the last time I was able to don clothing without this worry.

So, here I am in the shower, hoping the razor isn't too dull to use.  Of course, I ran out of shave gel, after shaving one leg.  Where the hell is my husband when I need him?

I get out of the shower, dripping, trying not to kill myself by falling on my tile floors to get the extra shower gel under the sink.

Back in the shower, wondering why in all holy hell do I have to shave?  I am a married woman and am not trying to attract anyone.  I mean really, WHO CARES?

Yep - it's me.  I am a fat married getting older woman with freckles.  The least I can do to remain feeling attractive is to shave the prickly little hairs off my legs and armpits.
I don't think I can afford NOT to shave.