Eyebrow threading...

Last Sunday, my mister needed to go to the mall.  Hmmmm...  do you think I could get my eyebrows threaded?

Sure, he says.  I know where they do that.

Really?  Who did I marry?

Anywho, we mosey on over to the mall, only almost getting hit by another car once.  We go inside, and right in front of Radio Shack (Tony's destination) is the eyebrow threading place.

I gathered myself and stopped over.

You could pick your eyebrow design, and it would only be $11, plus tip.

Ok.

I hope this doesn't hurt like waxing.  The worst thing about waxing is how the red iritated skin above, below, and around my eyebrows remains red and iritated for, like, a week after waxing.  Oh, and it hurts.

Time to try the threading.

The girl walks over to me, "Can I help you?"

Yeah - they bushey caterpillar between my hairline should be tamed, and there should be two small ones, not one fat one.

"Ok, sit down."

Alright, I sit down.

I take a look around.  This girl, is about 13 years old, 98 pounds soaking wet, 8 of those pounds in her glasses.  I think she was either Hispanic or Indian or White or Black or Asian or Pacific Islander.  I really don't know.  I'm pale and really can't tell what anyone else is, so I don't try.  Suffice it to say she was much more tan than me (not hard since I can put snow to shame), she had brown eyes, and dark brown hair.

Tiny, as I will now call her in my mind, comes over, and asks me to put my head back.  I try - and she pushes my head all the way back.

Sorry, Tiny.

She grabs some thread, I close my eyes, and she gets started.....

OH MY GOD!!  What the hell?  What did I ever do to you, Tiny?  Why are you hurting me?  I'm PAYING you to do this to me????  What kind of sadistic 13 year old does this to unsuspecting hairy headed women?  I'm sorry I tried to guess your ethnicity!  It won't happen, again, I PROMISE!!

Ow, ow, ow, OW, OW, OW!!!

OhmygodithurtssobadpleasestoppleaseohmygodwhyamIdoingthis?

Then, the pride steps in.

Don't cry.  Whatever you do, don't CRY!  Don't let that sadistic bee-otch know that this hurts.  Keep it together, Tara!  You had two kids, with two c-sections.  This is just eyebrows.  Keep it together!

Then, the first tear slips out.

Crap!  No more, I tell you, NO MORE!

I think I might have passed out a little.  I really don't remember the rest until it was over.

I opened my eyes, the tears ran out, and Tiny gave me a tissue.

I couldn't run out of there fast enough.  I didn't even look to see what my brows looked like!  Here's your $11, take another $3 for yourself (use it to seek some psychological help), and I'm out.

I ran to Radio Shack and while I resisted the urge to bury my face in Tony's chest and cry, mostly because my fiery brows my touch his shirt and cause more pain, I had to ask - how does it look?

He scrutinized my brow, and was like, hmmm, it's red?

Gee thanks.

My dresser...

Back in the day - you remember them, the '90's, I was living my teenage life.

My mom, being the nice mom that she sometimes morphed into was, bought my brother and I a set of dressers.  These were nice dressers.  Made of real wood that should last a long, long, long time.  Derrick got the tall dresser and I got the long short one.  Mine has 9 drawers - 3 up, 3 across.

This dresser has seen some hard times.  Being a teenage girl and all, I had make-up.  This make-up included nail polish that sometimes was just haphazardly thrown anywhere there was space.  One day, I noticed that one of these lovely polishes had spilled.  I Someone had thoughtlessly replaced the top incorrectly and the bottle, laying on it's side had spilled it's contents.

Being industrious and not wanting to get into trouble, I immediately picked up the polish remover to remove the stain.  Boy did it remove the stain - the nail polish and the wood stain on the dresser.

Oops.

Well, that stained dresser is still with me.  But, I have a decent sized house.  And yet, that dresser just did not fit anywhere.  It's so long that it basically takes up a whole wall.  With a bed, a closet and a window in each bedroom, that didn't leave a whole lot of area for this dresser.

So, like all of our other furniture that we don't know where to put, it ended up in the pit room that we let Jory use.  It kind of became his dresser for a bit.

Well, I had an idea (finally).  I have this large area across from the stairs.  It's the wall that is shared between my foyer and kitchen.  I have been trying to figure out what should go there for the 4 and 1/2 years we've been living in this house. 

THE DRESSER!

It hit me.  We could put the dresser there!  We could fill it with our downstairs blankets, and the photo albums I hope to one day fill.

Yes!

It fits!!!!

Then - miracle upon miracle, I had another idea.

You see, I have all these lovely fall/Halloween type decorations.  And Christmas too - but we're not there yet.  After the dresser had been in place for a couple of days, I figured out that I finally have a place for my decorations.

What do you think?



Too long for one photo



The full view - with a Mia sneaking in



Oddities, not of the space variety...

Some odd things have happened to me/in my life lately.

Odd #1:  I was home, during a storm, working while my little was napping away.  I decided that I would like a second cup of coffee - normally just a one a day girl.  I get my cup of coffee, and sit back down.  Then, a stupid housefly starts buzzing around.  I yell at my cat -"Mackles!  Get this damn, bug!"  He's too busy having a staring contest with the other cat to pay attention.  After waving the stupid fly away a couple times, I get back to work.  I go to drink my coffee and notice the fly has moved on.  I look in the cup, worried that I would find a fly.  Thankfully, no.  Then, someone chats me up, and I don't take a drink.  After the chat, I grab the cup and take a sip when I feel something small, solid, and not coffee try to come past my teeth.  I immediately spit it back into the cup and have now found that damn fly.  "What the hell kind of man-cat are you?  Not a very good one dammit!"

Odd #2:  I hadn't talked to my brother in quite some time, and I texted, he called and was like "Oh, I'm on my way to get my third pre-cancerous mole removed." 

What?  What?  What?  He goes on, "You should get yourself checked out." 

What?  What the? What do pre-cancerous moles look like?  "Like dark freckles." 

Like how dark?  Like Tony's hair, or like a dark brown?  "I don't know, like a dark brown.  You should get yourself checked out." 

But, I don't go to the doctor.  Yeah, I'm weird.  I'm tired of being told how fat I am, like I don't know and don't do anything but sit on my ass and eat donuts all day. Yeah - let's go get a full body check.  I DON'T THINK SO.

Where did all this mole talk come from anyway?  My skin issue is that I'm losing pigment on my hands and feet - not that my freckles are turning into moles.

Odd #3:  Mia, the other day runs upstairs when we are trying to leave the house.  Mia.  Mia!  MIA!!  Come down stairs.  Now, I'm getting mad - she is going to go into the corner now!  And she comes to the top of the stairs.  "I working, mommy."

She planted herself at the computer and started "typing."  I guess she does pay attention to me.

Anniversary post...

September 21, 2002.

The day we were married.

9 years ago.

2 kids ago.

1 house and 2 apartments ago.

3 Grandparents and 1 parent ago.

We've been through our share of good times, we've been through our share of not so good times.

Right now, you are washing the dishes and trying to fix your computer again.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you.

I love you because:

You kill the spiders because you know how much they freak me out.

Every other phrase out of your mouth has to do with the bedroom.

You laugh at me, even when I may not find it particularly funny.

You clean the cat litter.

You are a huge baby when you get sick and I don't want to take care of you.

You take care of me when I'm sick.

It's fun to scare you when you're sleeping by running and jumping on the bed.

You have 413 Porsche T-shirts. And counting.

You enjoyed it when I took the rental Charger for a spin and was speeding.

You let me drive.

You grocery shop with me and pick out the produce.

You push the girls on the swings.

You watch the worst shows on TV.

You cry at Extreme Makeover Home Edition too.

You let me make fun of you, and laugh along with it.

You don't get too mad when I gently stop your snoring with a slap tap to the head shoulder.

All of your clean clothes are in a pile on your closet floor, none on the hangers.

You are super helpful around the house and with the kids.

You can't remember everyones' name in my family.

You help protect me from my brothers now that they are bigger and faster than me.

You come home every day and still love me.

I love you.

9 years and counting.



From our honeymoon.  Would have put up a wedding photo, but we are having computer issues.

My little ballerina...

Mia had her first dance classes this week. 

How cute is she???



The prize bucket...

Like many other parents, I search for new and better ways to motivate my children to behave and do things that we want them to do. Olivia had the idea that we should have a prize bucket.  I agreed, so off to Target we went.

We bought a bucket, and then raided the dollar aisle of crap at Target.

So - what have the girls received prizes for?

Not going to the bathroom three times when we are at a restaurant - Olivia.

Staying in your seat at the restaurant, not going under the table.  I don't care if the crayon is under the table. - Olivia

Pooping in the potty - Mia

Cleaning the playroom - Olivia

I need to remember this more often than yelling, sending them to the room, and laughing while my youngest cries her heart out during two minutes in the corner.  Why?

Because, it's actually worked. 

Olivia doesn't go under the table anymore, and only visits the bathroom once at a restaurant.  Mia is consistently pooping in the potty.

Now, if only it wasn't a war to clean the playroom..... sigh.

I don't think I'm ready for this jelly....

I have been reading this book.  My little brother left it in the house when he moved out.  He claims it is such a great book, that when I had nothing in the house that I wanted to read, I figured I'd give this book a try.

The book is about quantum, um, things.  I have been reading it really closely.

Anywho, the book goes into how to break an emotional addiction.  Such as a repeated behavior that brings you the same emotion and usually the same result.

The book asked me to name one addiction I have that I would like to break and to open myself up to how I could induce the universe to help me with that change.  Not that I could tell you exactly how this addiction would be fixed, but that I would be open to possibilities.

Can you guess what my addiction is?

Yeah - it's my weight.

I have been "heavy" most of my life.  P.s.  I hate that word.  You don't call skinny people light.  Don't call me heavy.  It's overweight, bitch!

I have been struggling with my weight for most of my life.  I have been able to lose significant amounts of weight earlier in my life - you know - BK.  (Before Kids)

Now, I don't have a whole lot of time for exercising.  I work in an office in front of a computer (can you say, sedentary?).  My favorite past times are reading, blogging and watching TV.

Plus, I like to eat.  My two biggest problem foods - meat and carbs.  I'm not going to break a diet over ice cream or candy, I'm going to break it over a steak or chips.

But, I digress.

So, I decided to open myself up on new ways to lose weight and guess what happened.

Weight Watchers is coming to my work - and every one of my female co-workers has joined.  And, it's discounted.

So - for the first time, I am being open to Weight Watchers.  This is actually hard for me.  I was put into Jenny Craig at 10 years old.  I HATED it.  I'm not good at being told what I can and cannot do with my own body.

But, I'm am going to be open to Weight Watchers.  I am admitting that I need help to learn how to eat right.  I need help to focus on eating healthy and excersising.  Do I need a support group?  I don't know, we'll see.  Do I look forward to public weigh-ins or sharing my weight with a counselor I don't know?  Hell-to-the mutha-effin'-NO!  I'm more private than that.

I want to lose 100 lbs.  Yes - that's right, 100.

I was not at a weight I wanted to be at for my wedding.  The dress maker actually had to let my dress out at the last fitting because I had gained weight - and no, I wasn't pregnant yet.

I tried to lose weight again after we were married - was exercising and nothing was happening.  Then, I got pregnant.  I gained 40 lbs with Olivia, and my Doc only wanted me to gain 20.

After she was born, I lost weight and then gained it back.  I still had 30 lbs to go to get to pre-Olivia weight when I got pregnant with Mia.  I only gained 15 lbs with her, and my Doc wanted only 10.

Again, I lost weight and gained it back.  About a year ago, I started working out a lot more and watching what I ate, much better than ever before.  I got down to 5 lbs less than I am right now - losing about 20 lbs.  I still have 25 lbs to make it to pre-Olivia weight and am having a hard time getting started again.

Me and Weight Watchers are about to step in the ring and start throwing punches at Doritos and Lays.

I would like to lose 3 out of 4 chins - I really only need one, thanks.

My muffin top over mom jeans - I mean, really?

That roll, just under the boobs, should not need a bigger bra size than my boobs.  It would be nice to have a stomach that does not take up my whole body.  I feel like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - "Take her to the juicing room."

I think that there is a waist in there somewhere.  I am launching an expedition to find it.

I'm still contemplating how I will incorporate this into my blog.  I may give you weekly updates.  I may suck it up and add pictures.  I may not.  I am a bit self-conscious.

Wish me luck!  'Cause maybe, just maybe, me and Ms. Hudson will hang out one day!



Haaaaaaave you met Jory?

We came home one day to a bag of clothes (which are still in my kitchen), birthday present for Tara (late, and not wrapped), and found these pictures on my camera.  Thanks, Jory!

Let me introduce you to my youngest brother, Jory.

 Did I tell you that my mom's an artist?  Apparently, creativity runs in the family as demonstrated by the angle on this self-portrait.

 Ahhh, and Jory's other half.  This is Nohemi, Jory's girlfriend.  Is it just me, or does it look like his melon is about double the size of Nohemi's?  Jory, you have a giant melon!

Backyard sun and fun....

Summer time backyard fun at my house includes backyard watering.  Apparently, the swing set and it's occupants needed watering as well.

 Mia in her "wing."  She's still working on the esses.

 So, she's actually not bleeding through her shirt.  They did tie-dye at school and this is Olivia's shirt.

 Yeah - the cat was jealous.

Heredity...

Yesterday, as I was going to get in the car, I had an incident.  I was at the sitter, and Mia was already in the car.  I looked down and noticed a GIANT ant scurrying between my two sandaled feet.  I was so intent on making sure that this dumbass ant didn't touch my feet, that I didn't pay attention while opening the car door and slammed the door into my forehead.

Yeah.

It hurt.

Thankfully, I didn't swear - just an "Oh Crap!"

Mia looked worried about me as I stood there, making sure that getting in the car and travelling onto the expressway in traffic was still a smart idea.

I was ok.

I'm just a worrier like that.

I started thinking about some of my other famous incidents - falling on the ground when I thought someone was there to catch me - they weren't. Although, enough people were around to laugh.

Talking to Tony and walking backward out of my bedroom, I turned around and walked into the closet instead of out of the door.

Falling up the stairs.

Tripping over my shoes or the cracks in the sidewalk.

Falling out of my cube while pregnant, worrying my male co-workers that saw the incident.

Sliding on my dress shoes in a marble lobby, straight to the floor.  More than once.

The next thing I thought about were my klutzy graceful daughters.  I can't even tell you how many times Olivia has fallen down the stairs - she hasn't hurt herself - yet.  Or Mia has walked into walls.  Or Olivia sliding across the tile in her tights when running from carpet to tiled rooms.  Or Mia hitting her head on the banister while walking upstairs.

So - what can I tell my daughters when they start to notice this incredible talent that they were born with?  I'm thinking the best way to answer any questions will be this:

"Go thank your Grandma for passing this talent along."


Talk about fealess - Mia climbing on her nightstand to turn on her starlights. Can't wait to see the bruise that happens from this adventure.



Pay it forward...

Ahh - my lovely junk

On Labor Day weekend we had our first garage sale - we did much better the first day than the second.  On the second day, after making change for someone's purchase, I counted the money and thought I was missing the twenty they used to pay.  I couldn't be sure, but was about 97% sure it was missing.  I thought to myself - if the guy took that money and my change too, then maybe he needed it more.  Let's just see if he notices and comes back.  I even went looking over in the area the exchange took place to see if I had dropped the money.  No dice.

As the day wore on and no customers showed up, we had a mom and her little girl come by.  She looked around and found my twenty!  And she gave it to me!  Yes!  I was RIGHT!

Afterwards, her little girls found a winnie the pooh stuffed animal with a light up face that sings lullabies when you press his tummy, kind of like a glow worm.  The little girl liked it, so the mom asked how much?  I told her to take it.  She was kind enough to give me my money back when she could have kept it for herself, and that little pooh bear was so loved by Olivia, I'd like to see it bring joy to another little dark haired girl. 

When Olivia saw this, after they left, she asked if they payed for the bear.  I said no.  She was like, they just took it?  No, I didn't charge them.  Why?  And I explained the above to her.  I really hope that she learns how to be a good person and treat people nicely and pay the good deeds forward.


This is what the girls did during my garage sale in the extreme heat I was sweating through.



Olivia's boy friend....

Olivia, at the ripe old age of 7, now has her first "boyfriend."

Oh yeah.

I met him one day when I was checking on Olivia.  You see, we have started letting her go outside by herself so she can ride her bike.  I go to check on her, and there is this little boy.  He starts talking to me.

Not sure what he said prior to this, but this is what I remember.

"You know what I would do if someone is trying to rob me?  I'd just kick him in the nuts."

I guess this means that Olivia is safe with him.  Welcome, Jorge.

Summer lovin' - had us a blast!

It's picture time - heading into a long weekend.
Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!

We went to a benefit concert this summer.  Can't remember the name, but it benefitted American Veterans.

Anywho, we went, it was warm, the girls had fun, we listened to music.

 Here's Mia enjoying her new water bottle.  This is a prize won for poop in the potty.

 This is an advertisement for water.  Caption should be:

"Ahh....refreshing."

What?

We'll call this one, the girl with the green baloon.