Ahhh, reality...

I am sitting on my couch, looking out the windows, watching as snow falls silently down again on my backyard.  Slowly covering the dusting that was still on the ground, the drifts that had mostly melted, but, ice covered, are not fully gone.  The sky is gray, the dog is calmly sleeping on his bed, the washer and dryer working at full speed to clear through the massive amount of laundry, while I watch the clock, anticipating when Olivia will get home from school.

This is my reality today.

Yesterday, I woke up in a Disney Princess themed hotel room. The sun was shining, the air just a bit chill.  Warming up already, as the sun began moving higher in the sky.  We looked around, we packed, we cleaned up our room.  We sat in the sun, glowing, enjoying, knowing we were headed back north.  Remembering the week past, the fun roller coaster rides, the food, the characters, the fights, the new people we met, packing onto the buses to get to our next destination.

This was my reality yesterday.

We left Orlando yesterday.  Our week of Disney fun, coming to it's inevitable conclusion.  We met so many princesses, and all the standard Disney characters, as well as some not so standard.  We rode almost every ride - some more than once.  We visited all four parks, again, some more than once.  We watched parades and fireworks.  We became Wilderness Explorers and Sorcerers.  We had the best time.

I cannot say enough about how great this vacation was.  Everything was taken care of, from Disney picking up our bags and putting them in our room, to a message from Goofy on our voice mail, welcoming us for our first visit.  The buses were great, and took us from place to place.  We had Magic Bands to allow us into the parks, gather our pictures, and pay for anything we needed or wanted.  Our girls were turned into and treated like princesses.  It was so very fun!

P.s.  If you are thinking about a Disney vacation, I have a great castle coordinator and can give you her name.  Just email me.

My intentions...

The start of a new year brings us a fresh new beginning.  We haven't ruined this year yet.  We have another chance to be the person we want to be, to change the things that we dislike, whether about ourselves, or our surroundings, or our situations.  I've been reading much about finding and holding onto happiness this year, and making positive changes in our lives this year.

I have been writing daily about #selfpositivity2015.  This is a way for me to reflect back on my day, and find good in the choices I made, the way I handled a situation, the steps forward I take.  It's also a way for me to combat my own very negative mindset.  You know that mindset.  It harbors that voice that tells you that you should have eaten an apple instead of that brownie.  The one that berates you for only running a half mile when you did 3 yesterday.  The one that tells you about how bad a mom you are because you just didn't want to be around your kids today. 

Yeah.  That voice.

I need it to be quieter.  I need to hear good about myself.  I need to feel good about myself.

One of the ways that I am working on myself is my daily "to do" list.  This started as a way for me to get a handle on busy days, and not forget the things that need to get done.  This week, it morphed into a tool to help ground me.  I had a few minutes to reflect quietly and was not proud of the recent way that I was treating my kids.  I didn't really want them near me, and I made sure to try to keep them away.  In pushing them away, I got angry, they got angry and hurt, we were all crabby.

This was something I wanted to change.  So, I wrote to myself that I wanted to not yell at my kids, to spend quality time truly enjoying them, and learning about them and loving them.

Writing that down helps me to focus my intent.  My intent to be a good mother.  So, that little notebook that I carry around, is a great 'to do' list keeper.  But now, because I need that help, it's going to be a way to reflect on how I want my day to go.  Whether focusing on my maternal skills, my wife skills, my Tara skills, or my friend skills.  I will be attempting, daily, to make my intentions clearer to myself.

Self Positivity 2015...

As I sat down to watch yet another episode of "New Girl" on Netflix, on the computer, it occurred to me that I could actually blog instead of just thinking about blogging.  Then, I would have time to watch more episodes on Netflix when I was done.  So, here I am writing.  :)

I was journaling the other night, going over and over the Holidays.  What did I do wrong?  What did I do right (if anything)?  Was I ok with gaining the almost 10 pounds?  How was I feeling physically?  It occurred to me, that I routinely harass myself about my food choices.  I do everything I can in my head to tell myself how much I suck.  I berate myself over the littlest decision and constantly focus on the negative.

I started to write about how what I really need is positive reinforcement.  I love to be praised, and usually am able to see the good in my work when I am being praised.  Plus, it starts to feel less like work and more like something I enjoy doing.

After surprising myself with a journal that noted my need for positivity I started thinking about how I can add positivity into my internal self.  Brilliantly (at least I thought so), I had the idea to tweet/FB/instagram a hashtag so that daily I can note the things that I do that make me feel good about myself.  The coolest thing about this is that I can look back over the year to see what I was did well.  AND, as a bonus, I'm hoping that other people will join in and use this hashtag so that we can all share our positivity for this year.

 

If you'd like to share anything about yourself that you feel good about, any choices you made, any hugs you gave, anything at all that you did that and know that made you feel good about yourself, please feel free to post it somewhere and use the hashtag #selfpositivity2015.

Here's to a great year, with a whole lot of internal positive reinforcement!