Eyebrow threading...

Last Sunday, my mister needed to go to the mall.  Hmmmm...  do you think I could get my eyebrows threaded?

Sure, he says.  I know where they do that.

Really?  Who did I marry?

Anywho, we mosey on over to the mall, only almost getting hit by another car once.  We go inside, and right in front of Radio Shack (Tony's destination) is the eyebrow threading place.

I gathered myself and stopped over.

You could pick your eyebrow design, and it would only be $11, plus tip.

Ok.

I hope this doesn't hurt like waxing.  The worst thing about waxing is how the red iritated skin above, below, and around my eyebrows remains red and iritated for, like, a week after waxing.  Oh, and it hurts.

Time to try the threading.

The girl walks over to me, "Can I help you?"

Yeah - they bushey caterpillar between my hairline should be tamed, and there should be two small ones, not one fat one.

"Ok, sit down."

Alright, I sit down.

I take a look around.  This girl, is about 13 years old, 98 pounds soaking wet, 8 of those pounds in her glasses.  I think she was either Hispanic or Indian or White or Black or Asian or Pacific Islander.  I really don't know.  I'm pale and really can't tell what anyone else is, so I don't try.  Suffice it to say she was much more tan than me (not hard since I can put snow to shame), she had brown eyes, and dark brown hair.

Tiny, as I will now call her in my mind, comes over, and asks me to put my head back.  I try - and she pushes my head all the way back.

Sorry, Tiny.

She grabs some thread, I close my eyes, and she gets started.....

OH MY GOD!!  What the hell?  What did I ever do to you, Tiny?  Why are you hurting me?  I'm PAYING you to do this to me????  What kind of sadistic 13 year old does this to unsuspecting hairy headed women?  I'm sorry I tried to guess your ethnicity!  It won't happen, again, I PROMISE!!

Ow, ow, ow, OW, OW, OW!!!

OhmygodithurtssobadpleasestoppleaseohmygodwhyamIdoingthis?

Then, the pride steps in.

Don't cry.  Whatever you do, don't CRY!  Don't let that sadistic bee-otch know that this hurts.  Keep it together, Tara!  You had two kids, with two c-sections.  This is just eyebrows.  Keep it together!

Then, the first tear slips out.

Crap!  No more, I tell you, NO MORE!

I think I might have passed out a little.  I really don't remember the rest until it was over.

I opened my eyes, the tears ran out, and Tiny gave me a tissue.

I couldn't run out of there fast enough.  I didn't even look to see what my brows looked like!  Here's your $11, take another $3 for yourself (use it to seek some psychological help), and I'm out.

I ran to Radio Shack and while I resisted the urge to bury my face in Tony's chest and cry, mostly because my fiery brows my touch his shirt and cause more pain, I had to ask - how does it look?

He scrutinized my brow, and was like, hmmm, it's red?

Gee thanks.