My lottery addiction....

Remember the movie Dumb and Dumber?  Here's a quoted scene:

Lloyd: Mary, I wanna ask you a question and give me the straight up honest answer. What are the chances that I guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?



Mary: Well that’s difficult to say.


Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight. I came a long way just to see you Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?


Mary: Not good.


Lloyd: You mean not good, like one out of a hundred?


Mary: I’d say, more like one out of a million.


Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

This is how I feel about the lottery.  I'm Lloyd and the lottery ticket is Mary. 
 
You see, they started this new scratch off ticket - win $500 a week for the rest of your life.  You may think, that's dumb, that's only like $26,000 a year before taxes.  But - this would cover my child care leaving an extra $2000 a month to take care of things like my carpet, a deck/patio, finishing my basement, or truly boring, paying off my mortgage like 15 years early.
 
So, I started playing.  I mean, the ticket is only $1 and I limit myself to buying them once a week at the grocery store. 
 
But...  Well....  The tickets call to me.  For instance, I had $6 in cash last night when we went to the end of summer carnival at Miss Liv's summer camp.  So - I bought $5 worth of raffle tickets and thought "Yes!  I have $1 left for the lottery!"  Oh yeah, that dollar had a destiny!
 
This morning I went to the store and sped through, getting the supplies for our "party" today.  I even forgot the drinks because I had a mission.  There is that brand new lotto scratcher machine, right at the end of the checkout aisle.  C'mon lady!  Scan those groceries faster!  Dude, stop taking so long with the bags!  If the chips are smooshed, the kids'll still eat them - move your ASS!
 
And then, there it is.  My dollar going into the machine.  I press the button and my heart flutters a little.  THERE is my scratcher.  Oh - I have a CHANCE!
 
I'm not going to wait 'til I get home.  No way!  I get the groceries in the car and sit down in the drivers seat, scanning the lot like a drug addict looking for a fix.  I get a penny from the dash and ask it to be lucky.  C'm on penny - let's do this.
 
I scratch my number.  It's a 2!  It's lucky!  It's the number of wonderful children that I have!  (side note: I do this with every number I get.  If it's 14, I think double sevens, double the luck.  If it's 5, I'm like, there's a 5 in my phone number - it's lucky!)
 
I scratch the next number....7.  Nope.  Next.  14.  Nope.  Next. 12.  Nope.  Next. 3.  Nope. Last one.  C'mon.  5.  I lose.  Crap.
 
Now, I'm disappointed.  But thankfully, there's no one around.  So, I turn the radio up (Pink - Pretty, pretty, please), screech along in my best singing voice with the windows open, and look forward to next week's grocery trip and another CHANCE!