Deep thoughts with Forrest, Forrest Gu-ump....

That's right!  Life IS like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get.  That Mama, Mrs. Gump, was a real smaht ladee!

Last night, I watched Forrest Gump for only the 493rd time.  However, it was the first time I've really sat down and watched it since my kids were born and a bit older, and since I would now be about the same age as Forrest was at the end of the movie.

When I was a teenager, and this movie first came out (1994 ya'll), I loved this movie.  For me, I really didn't like the Jenny character and couldn't see what Forrest saw in her.  I was upset that they ended up together in the end.  When I was a teenager, I was really into the historical references, and the sound track.  Um yeah, if you hadn't guessed before now, I was a dork, and here's the proof.

This time was different.  I no longer hate the Jenny character.  I actually feel like Jenny and Forrest made a good couple because they were both broken in different ways and had the ability to heal that hurt in each other.  Jenny was the first friend Forrest ever had - and the most beautiful girl to boot.  She didn't see that Forrest was different - or that his differences made him less of a likely friend.  She just saw a lonely self-conscious kid and took him in and talked to him.  Obviously, they hit it off, like peas and carrots.

Another thing that struck me was the abuse that Jenny endured at the hands of her father.  This was really upsetting to me.  I have two little girls and worry all of the time about their safety and well being.  But not just about their safety - I worry about how others look at them.  They are not now, nor will they ever be, objects to be used, abused and tossed aside.  They are people and deserve to be treated as though they have their own dreams, thoughts, and personalities.  My girls, like any girls should be treated with respect, and basic human dignity.  But, I worry, not that they will love and lose someday, but that abuses would happen to them at the hand of another person.  No one should ever have that happen and it is sad that we have to worry about these things.  Jenny should never have been treated the way she was, especially by her own father.  Your father should be someone you look up to and can lean on when you need support.  Not the person that uses you like you don't even matter, except for their own pleasure.  I can understand so much better now, why Jenny lacked confidence in herself and treated herself as if she were nothing.  Jenny's story makes me sad for all the girls, boys, women, and even men that have been treated in that way.  I would love to be able to reach out and show them how much them mean, how much they are valued as individuals.  Showing our children how valued they are, how much they are treasured, is truly the way I see parenting.  And this doesn't need to happen only with your own children, or children in general.  There are adults that haven't received loving treatment as children, and need it more than ever as adults.  This is a people thing - people should be treated as valued individuals.

Ok, ok, I'll get off my soapbox.

There was one more thing that had me in tears by the end of this movie.  Forrest lost almost everyone he loved.  His momma, Jenny, Bubba.  I am getting to an age that mortality looms a little closer every day.  Not just for me, but for my loved ones.  I am so lucky.  I am 33 years old.  I have 3 grand parents, 2 parents and a step parent.  I have all of my siblings, masses of cousins, aunts and uncles.  And my family keeps growing in blood and friends.  My husband had 3 grand parents and 1 parent when we first met.  His dad passed away when he was 10.  He has lost all 3 grand parents, and his mother since we have been together.  He has aunts, uncles, and cousins, thankfully, to keep him well familied - as well as my family too.  To get to the point, I saw Forrest lose his momma, Bubba, and Jenny and it gets me to wondering when I will lose the people I love and how awful that will be.  (Pardon the mis-typing as my screen is starting to blur).  I can't imagine feeling those losses and the holes those losses will leave in my heart. 

This movie touched me again last night, in ways that it had not touched me before.  Even though I can recite many of the lines, word for word, it was new again for me and made me think, laugh and cry.  Maybe next time I watch it, it can just make me jealous that I haven't done nearly as much in my life as Forrest stumbled into.  But, I doubt it.