8 Tips for Kitcheneering...

I cook.  I cook a LOT.  I bake.  I'm in the kitchen, making messes, almost every day.  When you're in the kitchen that much, you tend to learn some tips and tricks to making cooking easier, funner, and staying safe in the process.  Here are 8 tips that I am happy to share with any fellow kitcheneer (like pioneer - but cooler since I just made it up.  Boo ya).

1. Wooden spoons can break.  Totally.  When you are blending food (say cooked cauliflower in vegetable stock), and the food chunks (cauliflower) are not going down to the bottom, feel free to take the opening off the lid of the blender.  Oh wait.  Did you remember the lid?  Yeah, put the lid on, just take out the middle part.  Then, when the blender is going again, stick the handle part of the wooden spoon into the blender and push that stubborn food (cauliflower) down.  When the food (cauliflower) moves, and your spoon is suddenly pushed in the the blade of the blender, you can lose a chunk of that spoon.  Also, since now, you probably let go of the spoon in absurd terror for your hand (like the blender is going to rip apart that spoon and come after your hand next), the spoon will have landed somewhere in the vicinity, hopefully not smacking you in the head.  Once you have cleaned the blended cauliflower out of your purse, off your mail, out of your ear, changed your clothes, scrubbed the dog, not to mention your ceiling, go see if you can find parts of your spoon in the blender.  If you can fish it out - awesome.  If not, keep blending.  Your family will thank you for the added fiber.
2. If you drop food on the floor, please follow the following rules:
1. If you have to fight an animal for the food, let them have it.  Have you seen what they eat?  This is probably like a gourmet meal to them.  Yes, macaroni and cheese is supreme food to a dog.
2. If you can grab the food, we'll call this a "taste test".  You might need more salt.  It's always a good idea to check.
3. If you need that carrot, or noodle to make your meal complete, wash it off and throw it back in the pan.
4. If there are other people in the kitchen with you, pick up the food and throw it away.  Pretend like you have never eaten dropped food off the floor - the thought never even crossed your mind.
3. When making mashed potatoes, you have to cut up the potatoes, put them in a pot, cover them with water, boil.  Then, strain, and if you're like me, screw the manual masher, I'm using a mixer to mash those taters with some milk and butter.  Sometimes, if you are making a huge amount, for say Thanksgiving or some other large dinner, you may get the idea to just mix the potatoes up using the same pan you boiled them in.  Why not?  It's economical, saves water, you are being environmentally responsible.  If black pieces of your formerly non-stick pot begin showing up in the potatoes, keep mixing and tell people its pepper, if the question is raised at said dinner.  You may want to add more butter though.  People in butter overload tend to ask less questions.
4. Do you ever want to get your kids out of your hair for awhile?  Maybe finagle some alone time with the man?  Here's how we do that.  Go to Pinterest.  Search recipes that seem healthy, full of veggies, and sauces.  Make this dinner.  Put in front of your kids.  When they freak out that chicken nuggets and pizza is not on the menu, act angry!  And hurt!  You put in so much time making them a nice meal!  And this is not a short-order kitchen - you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.  After you have let them whine and cry for awhile tell them you are done.  They can go to bed with no dinner!  As they run up to their rooms, go shut their doors, and voila - enjoy your kid-free time.
5. Cooking brownies and/or chocolate cookies can be difficult.  Chocolate does not get a different shade of brown when cooked.  Chocolate cookies go from perfect to burn in the difference of 1 minute.  Get Ms. Clea from the Psychic Friends Network to tell you when your brownies are done, or take a gamble.  Remember - the middle is usually good and you can always give the other parts to your co-workers the next day.  Or your husband's co-workers.
6. Fruit pies do not magically make a "sauce".  The filling can be liquid.  I can't tell you how many pies I have cooked, only to hold over the sink, while I try to drain the excess liquid.  Pie crust is not yummy when it's wet.  Baker's Square and Wal-Mart make pies.  Invest.
7. Pots can overflow.  I have not seen the worlds biggest pot, but I'm pretty sure that it's not in my kitchen.  Although some recipes I've tried believe I own the record setting pot.
8. Burns happen.  You can burn yourself on the oven, on a pan, with scalding water, when you try to clean your stove and the "burner" is still hot, or when your blender explodes hot cauliflower mixture and you are wearing flip flops.

Please remember that safety for yourself, your kids, your dogs and your utensils should be exercised in the kitchen.  Let me know some of your tips and tricks to happy kitchen time.