Seventeen Again...

HOLEEE SHIIT, you guys.  You GUYS!!  I haven't posted anything...ANYTHING...since January.

JANUARY!!!

Ok, so I knew it had been a long time, but holy crap-oly, I didn't think it had been almost .75 of a year!

Wow.

Just.  Wow.

Okay, so, I'm a terrible friend.  Even with my blog.  Like, I don't call.  I don't text.  I don't email.  And apparently, I don't write either.

Hey!  Hey you there!  Talk to me!

It's been a bit of an odd year for me.  I have been on a weight loss journey for almost 5 years now, but in 2016 have gained about 5-10 lbs that I can't seem to get rid of.  I've been a little stressed at work.  It's been quite topsy-turvy there, so yeah, there's that.  My oldest daughter is almost a teen, like a real, true, omg teen.  We're going through shaving and phones and hanging out with friends.  At the mall.  The little one is growing up too, finding her voice, even through her continuous mouth gear.  And Tony has been a bit stressed too.  Then there is also the whole election thing and everything else that is going on with this country.

There have been good things, great things too!  We went to Seattle and I took the girls to Kansas for Spring Break.  Mia is going to be a flower girl.  ANNNDD, we built a deck (finally)! 

All this to say that I have been feeling a little, uh, different lately? Not different so much as, maybe, reminiscent of another time? I've been feeling like I'm going through my second seventeen.  Does that make sense?  No?  

When I was seventeen was the first time I started to gain some confidence in myself.  I started to trust myself.  I started driving and gained freedoms.  I explored different ways to express myself.  And, it was a big election year (when I turned 18) too.  I was figuring out who I was, what was important to me, and how to express that.

Super Mario fun

Now, I have more confidence than I think I've even had.  I feel more beautiful today than I ever did before.  I trust my decisions, and am not apologizing for who I am.  I am finding my voice, again.  Or retrying it on for size.  My kids are getting older and are leaving me alone, so I am finding time do things like read, or watch tv, or play on the computer and catch up on news.  I am finding my political voice again.  I am finding that I have views, and opinions and beliefs and I am feeling like I can and should express them - at times.

New Tattoo

I am a feminist.  To the core.  I am thoroughly enjoying how people are turning views on their heads, and making my mind widen.  I want to see and understand peoples points of views, but not falter in my own.  I'm finding that not only am I able to do that, I can listen to what is being said and really have discussions with them.

I am loving being seventeen again.  I feel good about myself and am learning to accept myself.

I can accept myself, but not licks from the dog.