My intentions...

The start of a new year brings us a fresh new beginning.  We haven't ruined this year yet.  We have another chance to be the person we want to be, to change the things that we dislike, whether about ourselves, or our surroundings, or our situations.  I've been reading much about finding and holding onto happiness this year, and making positive changes in our lives this year.

I have been writing daily about #selfpositivity2015.  This is a way for me to reflect back on my day, and find good in the choices I made, the way I handled a situation, the steps forward I take.  It's also a way for me to combat my own very negative mindset.  You know that mindset.  It harbors that voice that tells you that you should have eaten an apple instead of that brownie.  The one that berates you for only running a half mile when you did 3 yesterday.  The one that tells you about how bad a mom you are because you just didn't want to be around your kids today. 

Yeah.  That voice.

I need it to be quieter.  I need to hear good about myself.  I need to feel good about myself.

One of the ways that I am working on myself is my daily "to do" list.  This started as a way for me to get a handle on busy days, and not forget the things that need to get done.  This week, it morphed into a tool to help ground me.  I had a few minutes to reflect quietly and was not proud of the recent way that I was treating my kids.  I didn't really want them near me, and I made sure to try to keep them away.  In pushing them away, I got angry, they got angry and hurt, we were all crabby.

This was something I wanted to change.  So, I wrote to myself that I wanted to not yell at my kids, to spend quality time truly enjoying them, and learning about them and loving them.

Writing that down helps me to focus my intent.  My intent to be a good mother.  So, that little notebook that I carry around, is a great 'to do' list keeper.  But now, because I need that help, it's going to be a way to reflect on how I want my day to go.  Whether focusing on my maternal skills, my wife skills, my Tara skills, or my friend skills.  I will be attempting, daily, to make my intentions clearer to myself.

Self Positivity 2015...

As I sat down to watch yet another episode of "New Girl" on Netflix, on the computer, it occurred to me that I could actually blog instead of just thinking about blogging.  Then, I would have time to watch more episodes on Netflix when I was done.  So, here I am writing.  :)

I was journaling the other night, going over and over the Holidays.  What did I do wrong?  What did I do right (if anything)?  Was I ok with gaining the almost 10 pounds?  How was I feeling physically?  It occurred to me, that I routinely harass myself about my food choices.  I do everything I can in my head to tell myself how much I suck.  I berate myself over the littlest decision and constantly focus on the negative.

I started to write about how what I really need is positive reinforcement.  I love to be praised, and usually am able to see the good in my work when I am being praised.  Plus, it starts to feel less like work and more like something I enjoy doing.

After surprising myself with a journal that noted my need for positivity I started thinking about how I can add positivity into my internal self.  Brilliantly (at least I thought so), I had the idea to tweet/FB/instagram a hashtag so that daily I can note the things that I do that make me feel good about myself.  The coolest thing about this is that I can look back over the year to see what I was did well.  AND, as a bonus, I'm hoping that other people will join in and use this hashtag so that we can all share our positivity for this year.

 

If you'd like to share anything about yourself that you feel good about, any choices you made, any hugs you gave, anything at all that you did that and know that made you feel good about yourself, please feel free to post it somewhere and use the hashtag #selfpositivity2015.

Here's to a great year, with a whole lot of internal positive reinforcement!

 

2014 in review and 2015 goals....

Just like everyone else in the country/world, as 2014 draws to a close and 2015 is literally hours away, I have been reflecting on this past year and trying to figure out what I will do with this next year.

I posted last year what my goals for 2014 would be (2014 Goals).  These were my goals:

1. To run 500 miles this year.  I did not hit this very lofty goal.  Actually, I got sick in January, stopped running through March and didn't really get started again until May.  I actually ran 255.25 miles this year.  This year, I will try to hit 300 miles.
2. Hit my weight loss goal.  Nope.  Not yet.  I am overly determined to hit this goal this year.  I've lost 80 pounds.  I have 25 to go.
3. Blog once a week.  BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! So, yeah.  That didn't happen.  I'm still trying to blog more often.  This year, the plan is to change my habits and bring my computer to bed nightly.  Write as often as possible.
4. Project 365 (pictures every day).  I totally felt like a failure with this.  Forgetting to take pictures, taking the same picture every day just to hit the daily picture goal.  Ugh.  But, when I look back over the year, I'm so happy that I took all those pictures.  I'm going to try this again this year and not beat myself up so much.
5. Create FB page for my blog.  I did this.  It was too much work.  I deleted it.
6. Hug and kiss my girls every day. Maybe this did not happen every day.  I will say that it happened a lot more often than before.  My kids seem to be feeling more secure, and I'm more comfortable with them.  This was a great goal.  I plan to continue making sure that I show my love to my girls every day.
7. Go back to school and finish my Master's Degree.  Hmmm.  I still think about this bunches.  I will get back there.  It just hasn't been the right time yet.

I learned this year that I need to stop kicking my own ass.  I yell at myself, berate myself, emotionally stress myself out because I am not perfect, because I didn't hit my weight loss goal or my running goal or take good pictures every day.  This crap needs to stop.  NOW.

So, this year, my goals, my resolutions will be something I continuously work at.  But, if I don't hit these goals, I will revamp my goals and be proud of anything I do accomplish.  Here are my 2015 goals:

1. I want to run 300 miles this year.  Last year was the first year I set a goal, and I ran just over 250.  This year, I'd like to improve that by 50.  
2. I want to hit my weight loss goal so frickin' bad.  I have learned a lot this year, and I will continue to work hard to watch what I eat, make good decisions and take care of myself.
3. I want to cook the recipes that are on my Pinterest boards.  I'd like to try a new recipe once a week.  
4. I want to travel.  Period.  New places to see and new things to do. 

How was your year?  How awesome will 2015 be for you?