Bowling and psychoanalyzation...

Odd title.  I think so too.

Today, we went bowling.  It was Hannah's birthday party, and the first time that Mia has ever gone bowling.  Olivia loves bowling, as do Tony and I.

While Mia and Olivia did the party thing, Tony and I got to bowl.  Tony got four strikes in a row!

I got one strike!

I also tried to make Andy my bitch.  Andy is Tony's cousin.  He was not happy that I beat him the first game, at which point I told him that his loss made him my bitch.

He disagreed with this logic, and said I had to win two games for him to be my bitch.  It was ON!

I came in third in the second game, after Andy and Tony.  So, now Tony's back to being my bitch.  (I kid - he's my husband, and only moonlights as my bitch, wink wink).

Olivia with cheesy black light awesomeness for bowling.

Mia getting ready to bowl.

On to the psychoanalysis.

On our drive home, I was talking and Tony was pretending to listen.  After talking about a number of things, I came to the topic of my relationship with Olivia.

I worry about how Olivia and I interact.  Lately, it seems like we never get along.  I'm yelling, she's crying, and I am not sure what to do, or really why it's happening.

It gets on my nerves that she feels the need to touch me.  And she touches me in inappropriate places, or tries to jiggle my belly, or sticks her hands in my face.  This behavior bugs the crap out of me.  Also, she has a habit of talking in a high pitched voice like she's over happy about stuff, or baby talking.  And she gets overexcited and jumps and runs around all while being overly loud and sticking her hands in my face.

I know that I shouldn't let this stuff bother me.  But how do I teach her how to be herself?  How do I teach her about appropriate touching if she tries to run me over when she hugs, or tries to crawl in my lap?  She's 80 some-odd pounds.  Way too big to be on your or my lap.  I feel like every time I talk to her about this stuff, she either ignores me or ends up crying.

I am not out to hurt her feelings.  I do not want her to think that I don't want to hug her, or cuddle with her.  I am trying to show her how to do this in an appropriate manner and that personal space does matter.

Do I overreact because she looks older than she is?  I want her to be independent, and it irks me when she attaches so completely to me.  Am I responding to her physical age, and not her emotional age?  She looks like she's 10, but behaves like a 6-7 year old.  How can I remind myself to be aware of both her physical and emotional age?  How do I teach her to be aware of her physical age and strength?

I worry about her.  I worry about what I am doing to ruin the relationship that I have with her.  I love her so much, and I want to have a relationship with her as we both get older.  Even if she thinks I'm a crazy person, I want to be the one that she turns to when she needs help, guidance, someone to talk to, or just plain needs a hug.  I know that I won't be this person to her forever, and really do not want to trash the short amount of time that I have.

If any one's dealt with this type of situation, and has advice, I'm all ears.  Right now, I'm trying to be more aware of my reactions and to stop and think before I say or do anything with her when she is bugging me.  I am not good at hiding my emotions and am working on that as well.  I just want to make sure my daughter knows I love her for her faults and the annoyances as much as I do for when she makes me proud or when we have fun together.