Can you spare a square?

Me and few girls from my team at work were rockin' the same pee schedule today.  So, when I went to the bathroom the third, fourth or sixty-seventh time today (I drink a LOT of water - don't judge me!), I was in the bathroom with two of my co-workers.

Whilst the chatting was going on, and the taking care of business, I reached down to grab some toilet paper.  It was a new roll, stuck in it's metal prison, and would not start for me.  I tried to grab the edge, I got enough to stop one shaving accident.  I tried again for more of the corner and got less.

I switched tactics and pushed the roll up so that I could rip that sucker up and get it started.  No dice.  Only more bits.  I was beginning to panic.  What was I to do?  People I know are in here!  They can hear as I attack the toilet paper that is rattling in it's metal prison!  Shut up, TP!!! You SUCK, TP!

I try again - getting more bits - and figure, enough bits, and soon I can make a ball big enough to wipe right?  But, the other girls are strangely quiet as the metal ringing of the toilet paper against it's torturous metal captor sings through the stalls.  More people are coming in.  It's after lunch.  Everyone must pee!

I figure the best thing to do - honesty.  I blurt out, "I'm having toilet paper issues."  One of my co-workers offers to help, "Do you need some more? Are you out?"

"No, I have a full roll, but can't get it started."  Now starts the giggling.  But I soldier on and throw out at the same time my other co-worker does, "Can you spare a square?"  Now, there is giggling coming from all the occupied stalls as we start remembering that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine stole all the toilet paper because Jerry's girlfriend couldn't spare a square.

Short story long, I finally got that crappy roll started and no longer need toilet paper assistance.